The Art of Parenting?

While sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office yesterday, I came across an interesting article in a rumpled copy of The New Yorker (October 2009.) It was enough to keep my mind off the muscle-y knot/pinched nerve in my right shoulder, so I thought I'd post it here:

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski

For the record, our bookshelf houses both How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight and Harriet, You'll Drive Me Wild! I don't view the books as any sort of antidote to "bad behavior," rather they are a good starting point to talk to my kids about the need to listen, and the fact that mothers are human, too. (That said, Harriet is a messy kid who seems to have trouble with spilling things. And, the dinosaur-kids have parents who could intervene in all the madness a little sooner.)

But is the new narrative really Bratty Kids And Their Doormat Parents or is it something else?

Kids need to be taught to modulate their own behavior in order to feel some sense of security as they grow up into the world. Modulating behavior means learning self-control and tolerance of situations that can feel bad (like a muscle-y knot/pinched nerve in one's shoulder that hurts but doesn't give you free license to act like a dinosaur at work because you'll lose your job.) Since when did boundaries and expectations become a bad thing?